Early this morning, I caught myself furiously searching the internet for various dim sum recipes and working in my head the various types that I want to learn to make. It was a behavior I recognize all too well - that obsessive compulsive bulldog laser-like focus on a goal in mind. A former boss politely described it as "intellectual curiosity and intensity". I had to tell myself to chill.
This 'quality' is something my leaders and colleagues at each job appreciates because they know that once they have my buy-in or commitment, things happen. However, it's something of a double-edged sword for those who report to me because while they know I will have their backs to the bitter end, I will also drive them with dizzily high expectations.
Admitting there's a problem is the first step - and in very recent years, I've mellowed quite a bit when it comes to my expectations of those around me. I've also learned to apply similar commitment behavior to projects that are important but may not be what I want/like to do. And I've made a concession - I can continue to have crazy demands on me as long as no one else is negatively impacted.
There's a certain mental/emotional management that must take place and is a process so well described it's cliched. First, you visualize the end. You must be able to create and hold an image in your mind of what that outcome is. Second, from that outcome, isolate the output that contributed to that outcome (outcome is not equal to output). These output may be tangibles that is created, or it may be intangibles, e.g. knowledge, a seeded thought in someone's mind, an engagement that took place etc. Third, figure out what are the various steps that must take place to create those output. Fourth, balance the implementation of those steps so that they come together, in context, to create that vision you had in your head. Oh shootx, I wish I had this clarity of thought when I was way way younger, but it's not too late, and I so wish I can share what I've learned with an interested audience, like my sisters...or maybe a book. But I don't have the credibility for something like that yet.
The other realization as well is how I've plunged right into making rice dumplings and baos and so on without wondering if I could do it. It was about how to do it. If I don't know what I can do, doesn't it also follow that I also don't know what I can't do? Isn't that a liberating thought? Ok, there may be some physique/physical footnotes but beyond that, I don't know what's stopping me from attempting anything else. I should be dreaming and visualizing bigger than what I am doing right now! If you aim for the stars, you most likely won't grab mud.
Ok ok...I'm swimming close to cliche land and should stop now. The winds have stopped blowing strongly - time to change and get to the rail trail for another bike ride!
This 'quality' is something my leaders and colleagues at each job appreciates because they know that once they have my buy-in or commitment, things happen. However, it's something of a double-edged sword for those who report to me because while they know I will have their backs to the bitter end, I will also drive them with dizzily high expectations.
Admitting there's a problem is the first step - and in very recent years, I've mellowed quite a bit when it comes to my expectations of those around me. I've also learned to apply similar commitment behavior to projects that are important but may not be what I want/like to do. And I've made a concession - I can continue to have crazy demands on me as long as no one else is negatively impacted.
There's a certain mental/emotional management that must take place and is a process so well described it's cliched. First, you visualize the end. You must be able to create and hold an image in your mind of what that outcome is. Second, from that outcome, isolate the output that contributed to that outcome (outcome is not equal to output). These output may be tangibles that is created, or it may be intangibles, e.g. knowledge, a seeded thought in someone's mind, an engagement that took place etc. Third, figure out what are the various steps that must take place to create those output. Fourth, balance the implementation of those steps so that they come together, in context, to create that vision you had in your head. Oh shootx, I wish I had this clarity of thought when I was way way younger, but it's not too late, and I so wish I can share what I've learned with an interested audience, like my sisters...or maybe a book. But I don't have the credibility for something like that yet.
The other realization as well is how I've plunged right into making rice dumplings and baos and so on without wondering if I could do it. It was about how to do it. If I don't know what I can do, doesn't it also follow that I also don't know what I can't do? Isn't that a liberating thought? Ok, there may be some physique/physical footnotes but beyond that, I don't know what's stopping me from attempting anything else. I should be dreaming and visualizing bigger than what I am doing right now! If you aim for the stars, you most likely won't grab mud.
Ok ok...I'm swimming close to cliche land and should stop now. The winds have stopped blowing strongly - time to change and get to the rail trail for another bike ride!
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